change.

ive been having a great week. a really really good one. sometimes i get scared though. how things have been doing so well in my life...but like most things in my life..my situation is a good one...a happy one. and i find that i deserve the best. why not? some people always second guess themselves and when they find something good they freak out and bail. but for me im just embracing everything that is happening to me...im just going with the waves...and so far the swells have been great. choppy at times..but a good choppy swell where im always learning and always connecting on so many different levels. i really enjoy good company...and positive folks.

im just encountering a problem with myself..and it sucks. but at the same time is an awakening into adulthood (again). i say again because i used to live in new york and that was sooo much fun. just to taste independence for a couple of years. ill admit that i got some financial help from my mom...but everything else i was making what i wanted to happen..happen. it was crazy how i accomplished all that in just two years. i grew from an unstable growing woman into a little bit more stable growing ever changing woman. and it feels incredible. i still have many experiences to gain and learn from. and im not gonna take any of those experiences for granted...whether they be negative or positive ones..i just know that i need to make the most out of my life. enjoy it. live it.

bottom line, i need to MOVE OUT! haha. its not that i do not love my family or anything. i just need room for me to grow in that spectrum. im just feeling a little suffocated at times. i love my mom and sister..i know that they look out for me a lot. and i totally appreciate that. but at the same time, i just want to do my own thing and not have to worry about them worrying. im still growing and i have a lot to learn. but i really need to move out. get my sh-t together. be fully independent once again. its been a little bit over a year living at home..its been great. i love it..but i need space.

time to breathe. analyze and organize thoughts. ill blog more later. ciao.